Disclaimer: This post has been a long time coming, though first it needed to percolate, be refined, and be designed appropriately. *This post is highly personal so I hope that any reactions are done so tastefully. -Peace and Love.*
As a psychologist, I need to explain evolutionary psychology to get to my point. One way to begin this blog is to explain that modern men and modern women, though advanced, are still wired in their brains like cave men and cave women in many ways. To deeply comprehend this post, one needs to first read the first paragraphs of “Do male lions hunt?” which can be found at: https://blog.londolozi.com/2014/04/29/do-male-lions-hunt/. It details that male lions, as the ultimate protectors and fighters of danger, have evolved to sport their big protective manes. This helps protect their neck and their shoulders, their most vulnerable areas in battle. However, it makes them too easy to see when hunting for food or game so they have their pride’s women, the lionesses, do the hunting for them. Since the male lions have lost their element of surprise they have chosen to delegate this chore to their women who still have the power of camouflage during attacks and sieges. As a female boxer, the first thing I was taught was to keep my hands and gloves up high, and then my arms bended down by my sides, to protect my face/head and the internal organs within my torso area. Every time you swing, good form dictates that you end up with your boxing gloves right by your temples again. In basketball, I was taught that after every swish my hands should look a certain way and if they do not I am not doing it RIGHT. Most women do not know these things because most women have not taken the time to play sports or learn how to physically fight through martial arts.
Women, in our modern society, are taught to fight with words, manipulation, social bullying of others, orchestrating slow and penetrating revenge, and prefer to kill with poisons. Fact: When women commit murder or suicide their weapons of choice are either poisonous liquids or drugs. What does this mean? It means that we are taught to fight behind the scenes, not make a scene, and not be upfront about it to others. Both lionesses and human women are taught to sneak up on someone and attack, if you are going to attack go for the jugular, they say. The issue is that we spend way too much time attacking each other and feeling angry all of the time. In lion prides, or groups, the women do the hunting but the pecking order goes as such: the men eat, then the children, and then the women fight for the scraps among themselves. How frustrating right? How obviously annoying is it to do so much thankless work, right?
It occurred to me that if women or lionesses wanted to they could just stop hunting for the pride until the rules changed so that they get a fair share of the meat or more recognition. If they stopped hunting, the pride would begin to freak out and de-stabilize the power, the lions would be MAAAD and the cubs would go hungry. It would be chaos. Then I asked myself, then why do they choose to keep doing it? And again the answer comes down to something ALL women are motivated by: LOVE. They sure do love their men and they sure do love their babies/cubs. They do it because they feel they have to keep the order of things and they do it with pride for their pride because if not no one would eat.
Lionesses love their family above everything else in this world, we hold our baby dolls from being the age of toddlers and we look for a husband from the moment we turn 12 years old. Yeah, I said it, let’s get real. Lions and men also love their family above anything in this world, though sometimes they spend much of their free time thinking about competition, practicing fighting, and waiting for when the next time they might be called to war. This is why our young adult men are so addicted to video games these days. The gaming world is a multi-billion dollar industry feeding off men’s incessant hunger drive or prey drive to kill or practice killing for honor, pride, dignity, and love. They feel fulfilled, on one hand; but then they realize they have also neglected real life’s chores, problems, and mostly their women. Who, by the way, are not too happy with this childlike playing with sticks and stones outside when we are inside the metaphoric hut making your dinner and doing your laundry. I encourage both partners to do their own laundry at home when they come to couples therapy with me. Anyway…
I AM A Lioness. And I am not going to go on strike or anything like that, don’t worry, just relax =). BUT… knowledge is power. Ever realize that slave owners would keep black slaves from learning to read intentionally? It was all about keeping them quiet and not learning that if they all worked together they could free themselves with the power of the many and the power of mutiny. I want to educate you all on the power of the woman and the recognition of one’s own inner power. I am not a bra burning feminist, as they call them. I am a normal feminist, though. If you look up the REAL definition of feminism, (GOOGLE it right now) it is: the advocacy of women’s rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes. MANY MEN ARE FEMINISTS, TOO. They just don’t know what the word really means and if they did they would call themselves feminist, if it fit the bill.
I want equality. That’s it.
I do no want to take jobs from men. Yes, I do believe that we need more male nurses, teachers, therapists, stay-at-home dads by choice, and that we should have equal pay (which by the way is still not fixed and women make less doing the same jobs as men). Men begin to fully care about and understand the gender inequality issue when they become daddies to little girls and a guy rapes their precious daughter, does not pay them well for their job, or makes her feel “less than” just because she is a girl. THAT’S WHEN DADDY GETS MAD AND VOCAL. I mean, Mulan was awesome and she had to pretend she was a guy to be taken seriously as a warrior. J.K. Rowlings, author of Harry Potter, had to have a male-looking pen name to be taken seriously as a writer. It is sad, really. Those days are not long passed us. There is still a huge pressure some of us women feel that we either have to choose to be an at home-parent or have a career-but-no-baby lifestyle, because if you take on both, people will judge you for either not being enough with your kids or not being enough at the office. Not a good mommy and not a good businesswoman. It is a rough and harsh reality. But that is something we are still dealing with today in 2019 and yet we call ourselves one of the best modern civilizations. Genuinely, we are going backwards, it seems…Sigh*
So what does all of this mean for women in motherhood and business?? Well, hear this message ALL: Women, learn to harness your power (especially in business because we can be as good as men at entrepreneurship, believe me yes you CAN), I AM. Become educated, I AM. Make six figures, if you want: I AM! LOVE ON YOUR MAN and be LOYAL to him, I AM! Start your own company as CEO, I AM! Learn to fight through martial arts- I AM! Become a mom, I WILL BE, HOPEFULLY SOON! And do it all with gracefulness, class, and humbleness. Don’t forget, We Are The Lionesses. DON’T BE SILENT. BE A FIGHTER, I KNOW I AM! Oh…and World: Have some PRIDE & HEAR. US. FREAKING. ROAR. Peace and LOVE to ALL.- The LIONESS